Bad math and coming darkness

Yes our Holiness 'had' promised to clean up his act and not hang out that much with the children and goats and stay about from the 'prasad' but the Divine had other plans...

Anyway, his Holiness now has expressed the will to mumble some wisedoms.. this should be all you are concerned about.

When Mayawati had won her last election our fine Institution had put up this statement. No wait... it was this one.

We had stated she was the best person to win. And we stand by the statement.

Maya Aunty

A reliable source, a corporate top honcho, though obviously deeply biased by class yet we can assume was bearing true witness, stated that in a meeting to discuss investment in U.P., Mayawati came bounding out of the bathroom to greet them still tying her pyjama drawstrings, swaggering like a man at them. Not quite Oxford, what chaps? We are not aware if they had to immediately shake her hand. We would have gone with the namaste.

Worse still, our Supreme Leader for Life and Incarnation/Reincarnation, was deeply disappointed to see that Mayawati seemed too interested in erecting statues of herself and generously handing out political vendetta instead of governance. We who believe in honesty, sexual prowess and an infinite supply of free underwear to all citizens as well as democracy, know that the people of UP will not stand for this for too long.
But more on that later.

The trust vote

The Indian media has gone to town proclaiming that it's a 'Great Bazaar'. In fact we too went to Lok Sabha and bought two MP's at a racked out price of Rs. 20 crore. We were sad because later on rediff we found that MP's we going at Rs. 15 crore. However, we felt better when some fool paid Rs. 100 crore for an MP and was refused! Also our MP's have run away with some of the Director's favourite children and goats.

We found out that this vote is not going to be decided by money, it's going to be decided on the next elections.

There is a strange nuance at play here.

The Congress and the Left would like us to believe that it is all about the Nuclear Deal. The BJP wants us to believe that given the constitutional frame-work of a trust vote, it is about faith in the government.

The government has fucked up over the last four years. yet, we need the deal. it's not critical but it's better for the country. a step in the right direction. or maybe not.

So various options exist. You can:

1. vote for the UPA if you like them. UPA, RJD etc

2. vote for the UPA if you like the deal. SP, NC etc

3. vote against the UPA if you hate Sonia's haircut- Mayawati, TRS, TRP etc.

4. vote against the UPA if you hate Americans- the Left cheek.

5. vote against the UPA if you like 'urdu speakers'- SP rebel.

6. Abstain if you can't make up your mind. Obviously, Mamata Banerjee, a few depressed surds and some Shiv Sainiks.

7. Free dinner parties. Everyone.

We can understand that elections are inevitable. Then why is the Congress risking so much for what?

It doesn't add up?

The answer, and this goes out of the numskulls in the Indian media: is because Manmohan Singh wants the deal.

I really think that his economic assessment of sanctions and embargoes of our country is hurting us and he wants to end this. He confronted the BJP about this when they did Pokhran II in the Rajya Sabha.

But the opposition has made this one about political convenience and that is what is going to determine what happens. Not principles. And except for the odd straggler, definitely not money.

The future and what's at stake

It was touch and go for India's liberalization process in the last confidence vote. It's touch and go for the scientific progress for India now.

If it happens, awesome. If it doesn't. We're fine today. We'll be fine tomorrow.

But it's the emerging political fallout that is immensely interesting.

A new order is forming very fast and the next elections are going to be better than Shilpa Shetty's yoga video. (Our Director recommends it seriously). At least buy the VCD if you are financially constraint.

The Left is going to be reduced significantly in the next elections. Prakash Karat has led the party off the ledge. People are deeply disillusioned with the party. Unless, they make the government fall. Even then that will staunch but not stem the bleeding.

However, if people in Kerala like coconuts and Bengalis love mustard, people in UP love making Prime Ministers. I really think the Congress has picked the losing side in UP in the next Lok Sabha elections. Unless Amaritabh Bacchan-Singh-Ambani can cook up some real magic, Mayawati is going to sweep UP.

the random Southies will then join her bandwagon because they'll want Dalit votes. And nothing attracts randoms like the perception of power.

Maya Aunty- Prime Minister

She's a Dalit superstar. And she is going to be the king maker in the next Parliament. Maybe even make a Queen.

Will this be a good thing for India?

In politics there is really no good or bad. It's like a law of science. It's about inevitability.

If the economic progress of this country leaves out the poor and the marginalized and if the poor and the marginalized are in the vast majority, they are obviously going to elect someone that they would consent to having in power. the poor accept corruption but they would like one of their own to get the spoils. the one who manipulates them the best gets the gaddi. Mayawati holds the right caste credentials and a phenomenal base to build her prime ministerial ambitions from.

it is not clear who will win the next election but one thing is clear: the intellectual classes of india have failed the poor. what is to be done?

help us trace the MPs we bought and who ran away with our children and goats and we promise that we will introduce you to them and encourage friendships. lose yourself in these simple pleasures.

the night is always darkest before the light.