Suicide is not painless

I've been dying to blog on this (pun intended) but i was taking part in a reality contest this weekend so i was too caught up to do so. (yes i lead a pretty random life)

when you buy a ticket to the tollygunge metro you have to walk through a subway to get to the platform. dotted along this subway are these dilapidated adverts advocating the number of a suicide helpline and entreating people to seek help. [i would put up pictures but photography is prohibited.. yes.. that will stop terrorists]

i have always been touched by this. i always thought it was most nice of the government and railways to care about the lives of the citizens of the metropolis and putting up advertisements like those.

as an indian mostly used to government apathy and one who has seriously considered suicide in asswipe college (which as seen two suicides and at least 15 attempts in the last few years) to end the sense of constant persecution, i always keep my self-abreast of the latest suicide trends.

but why just suicide adverts in the tunnel? why not an AIDS helpline or a toll free number to buy non-stick cookware?

turns out it wasnt an exactly altruistic gesture.

while the ticket the p.a. system was blaring that a suicide had taken place and that services would be curtailed. no trains were leaving from dum dum and trains from tollygunge would only go half-way.

sitting in the sweltering heat in a packed unventilated train (still better than the mumbai local i used to take to work) it occurred to be that if i was ever angry enough with this cruel world to kill myself i would jump in the metro at 9:30 in the morning.

the most popular ways of committing public suicide in calcutta are either jumping from the howrah bridge or jumping in front of a metro train.

now look at the way lady diana's death touched the lives of people by her death. most of us never have such a chance.

if you hang yourself or consume poision in a room you will only affect your family (the person who finds you will be mashed in the head for life). if you jump from the howrah bridge you might affect a few people in ferry (especially if you land on them). if you jump in front of a bus you can affect a maximum of few hundred people.

but if you jump on the metro at rush hour you can affect the lives of thousands of people.

at this time every minute is precious because being Bengali all of us already late for work. secondly, a lot of us are carrying fish for lunch. ah! the exotic smell of body odour and decaying fish in a constricted claustrophobic environment. delicious!

post the first four years of the metro when the first bright spark got the idea that this was a rather effective way of ending his life and making an impact, suicide in the metro has been on the rise.

it is for this reason that the new metro lines are going to have automatic barricades to prevent easy access to psychos. these will also improve the airconditioning.

the japanese (ever grateful for Justice Radhabinod Pal's dissenting judgement) also want to build a tunnel under the hoogly for the metro but us bongs have said in our usual inimitable way 'hobe na .. hote parei na.. hote parle khoob poisha lagbe' (cant happen, not possible, if possible it will be expensive). but buddhadeb is trying is best to convince everyone as usual.

i hope the barricades do a better job than the dilapidated suicide helpline advertisements.