of armpits,assholes and penises

It was a sad day yesterday.

Despite the fact that East Bengal was leading 1-0 it lost 2-1 to those prawn eating buggers, Mohan Bagan.

I'm done showing off that i follow inconsequential sports events due to misplaced patriotism in the same spirit we used to watch the Miss Universe Paegant years ago. Yay! An indian competing at an international event! Woo hoo! Another girls' bollywood career is made!

Well since i have nothing else to do but stay awake i should enlighten the non-existent readers of this blog on my views on certain places.

1. Bangladesh: Armpit of the universe.

As an ethnic Bangladeshi, i fucking hate the place. I have never been there and i never ever plan to go there. It's a damp, stinky place that regularly gets flooded, does not appreciate the seperation of mosque and state and certainly does not have one bone of gratitute in its body.

In all fairness, my anger with Bangladesh is directed towards my fellow 'Indians' of east bengal origin. Some of them turned moony eyed at the mention of the place. Bloody ingrates. Everything i am today is the fault of India. If they ..hmm.. i never thought of this but maybe ingratitute is our genetic trait.

I cannot believe that Bangladeshi's are hostile to india even after we saved their asses from brutal repression at the hands of pakistan (which UNBELIEVABLY for some mindblowingly weird reason, if reports on the criticism of Rahul Gandhi's comments on the war are to be believed, India's officially denies!!). I mean even the French with all their derision of the Americans still thank them for saving them from the Nazis. That's basic decency.

And finally of course they kicked us out of the world cup which was not theirs but Greg Chapells fault (my explanation of this). But still.

However, i am most interested in Bangladesh's political experiment with benevolent dictatorship. I really am impressed with the efforts of the technocrats at cleaning up corruption. They're going about it in a very good way from media reports. I sincerly wish these people the best of luck if they're efforts are truly genuine. If it works, Bangladesh will kick India's ass at poverty reduction in the next 20 years. They're already better than us in cricket (cheap shot). Which will make me really pissed off.

Finally, it goes against everything i believe in but i allow myself a little xenophobia and support East Bengal ( i cant believe those bastards blew their lead)


2. Kerala: Asshole of the universe.

If there is anyone more obnoxious and ungrateful than Indians of east bengal origin it is Malayalis. Half of them are sitting in the gulf yet most of us are subjected to lectures on how kerala is god's own country. God doesnt believe in employment and job creation or something? Im also tired of hearing about how bus conductors in trivandrum have Phds. Great man! more power to them. Maybe they can come up with a better way of showing people to their seats (which in my experience they do most rudely if you cant speak Malayalam).

Of course, my main grouse with them is the fact they spawned and venerate the creator of Asswipe College. Also, the Madman from the World Bank who turned the place into a concentration camp was one of them. But that's not their fault. No community can be blamed for his actions.

Good thing about kerala: beef is legal. awesome food. the best pizza i have had was on kovalam beach.


3. Chandigarh: Penis of the universe.

Chandigaris also share this sick pride of their place of origins' superiority to other places. Apparently, just because it was a planned city designed by a french guy, fought over by the Union as well as the States of Haryana and Punjab, has wide roads, a rose garden, a museum of artefacts constructed of discarded toilets and an artifical lake, its inhabitants are superior to all people of earth.

Pant-chor, they will tell you, your city is crap. And why isnt the Dj playing punjabi music yaar? In my opinion, they have one-eyed vision and can usually just think about sex.

So Chandigarh in my opinion is the penis of the universe.

For the record i am against sweeping generalizations of people. But people are stupid.

And that's all i have to say about that.

Please don't flag my blog for objectionable content. I am new to this and just learning. Who am i kidding? no one reads this blog anyways.